ALARMED

 I turned on the bed and I felt my husband sit-up and then stand up to get out of the room. We had a new alarm clock this past month, it was a human alarm clock my mother-in-law.

Dapo, my husband brought her to our house because she had been falling sick in recent days, and he felt he owed her companionship and care, but seeing her this past month Mama has not fallen sick since she moved in to the house, she didn’t even look like she had been sick before she came. I expected a calm, tired, sickly Mama, but alas this past month we have had a very strong, loud, active one. She was more of a terror than a sick old woman.

Mama wakes up by 5.30am does her prayers and at around 6.00am everyday I hear her footstep coming towards my matrimonial room and three bangs on the door followed by her voice “oko mi Dapo, se oti ji ni” (my husband, Dapo haven’t you woken up). Gosh, it is so annoying, it runs me mad. AAargh, I have had to wake up compulsorily this past month by 6.00am everyday because of Mama’s so called illnesses and my darling husband Dapo will stand up like a tamed puppy answering to its master’s call everyday in a robotic way- sit-up, stand up and go out to meet his ‘mummy’, he would spend about thirty minutes with her every morning saying God knows what.

I always try my best to get back to sleep but it is always impossible, my beautiful sleep is always stolen from me. I cherished memories of my sleeping till 7.30am and I sighed and said a little prayer, not forgetting to let God touch Mama into getting bored enough to return to the village.

I am Farida Dawodu,I am an entrepreneur and I own a medium sized supermarket, I have been married to my husband Dapo Dawodu for eight years now and we are still waiting on the Lord for our miracle, a child. We are a happy couple and we are comfortable and honestly life has been quite interesting for me until Mama’s camping began in our house.

Trust me I have had my share of being called barren, empty barrel, a useless piece of furniture in my husband’s house by my in-laws, but here I am still with the love of my life Dapo. I have been through the pastor, alfa and baba phase. Yes o, I visited Babas, please don’t judge but you can never understand what it is like wanting a child so bad and working so hard towards it and yet everymonth you need sanitary towels.

I had my phase of taking fertility shots too, I was always on the internet checking up new ways to get pregnant and the sorts, I popped pills like breathing in air, I hate concoctions, I drank brownish tasteless water, I washed my head God knows how many times, I fasted, I slept in church. I became a harlot of churches. I rush to any church I hear a miracle happened. Sigh I just can’t say all what I have been through this past eight years.

The worst period was when my husband moved out, he left our matrimonial house for a week and slept at a hotel, I cried everyday till he returned. He said I was depressed and I was breaking our marriage. He complained about how I looked and how the only thing on my mind was having a baby, he said making love seemed somewhat mechanical as I did it solely to procreate, I wanted the same style everytime but will you blame me, I read it in a book that the style leads to easy conception. Whew, the most embarrassing however is he said my hanging my legs up high for minutes after we made love was a really disgusting sight, that I looked pathetic. Well a website advised, lying down with your legs up for few minutes after sex so that the sperm will reach the ovum. Well hearing my husband say all this made me realise I had truly lost myself in this baby search thing and he returned when I promised to change and I did change, I now take care of myself and baby is still important but it’s not taking over my whole life.

At least now I don’t cry when I go for naming ceremonies, I no longer hang my legs up after sex, I no longer force only one style in bed and I don’t look depressed anymore and we have been happy. We haven’t really had any arguments since then and life has been good, but mama was threatening that now. I am getting tired of her.

Mama complains about everything, about my maid- who actually tells me most of what mama does anyway, mama says why do you even need a maid when there is no child in the house, she would say I believe it is lazy that you own a shop at your age, shouldn’t you be working in a big office like my son?, how come you drive a jeep and my son drives a car, isn’t he the head of the house?, why do you like to cook ‘ugwu’ all the time, don’t you know your husband likes ‘shoko’ and prefers efo riro?.

I wouldn’t even reply mama’s questions because as far as I am concerned they are rhetoric, I would just flash mama that readymade fake smile that I learnt specially for her. With mama in the house now I get to the shop earlier than I usually do. I seize every opportunity I get to be away from her. I would have being more comfortable with her if she had been nicer to me and not always try to hurt me with words. One day mama asked me “how many abortions have you had because they must countless for you not to have been able to get pregnant”. She asked it as if she was asking me what my name was, so casually and yet so scornfully. I cried all day.

I asked my husband when she would leave because she seemed fine to me, he pleaded with me to ignore her and that she would leave in a little while. I screamed inside of me, he didn’t even give a particular date, at least I would be mentally prepared if a date was fixed, but I consoled myself that a little while could mean tomorrow. Alas another month has passed and it is still a little while. I try not to nag on mama’s issue with Dapo because he gets really defensive with his family. So I have been managing sha.

I got to the shop and wondered what had changed because mama used to be so nice and caring and loving, but the past few years she became the literal monster-in-law. Now mama has Dapo’s attention first thing in the morning and last thing at night, sometimes I feel I see a glimmer of victory in mama’s eyes, I feel she thinks I am a rival to her, I just don’t understand.

I reminded Dapo about Mama leaving and he begged me to be patient, imagine o, see this man. Sometimes I think of initiating lovemaking at about the time mama comes to knock so that I would see who the master really is, I wonder if Dapo will stop making love with me to go and meet mama or if he would dare try to turn it into a quickie just to go and attend to mama. The truth is I never got around doing this because I am scared to really know who the boss is, Dapo is really unpredictable and I know that I would be really hurt if I lost. Abeg what I don’t know won’t kill me.

TO BE CONTD...